Ode to Kali

Oh, dear friend.
When I convinced us to go rollerblading at 3 am
It seemed like such a good idea at the time.
And it was for Lauryn and I.
Alas, for your poor bum, it was not.
Who knew I would have 2 pairs of rollerblades in the trunk of my car?
Yes, I stood there and laughed
And laughed and laughed and laughed
As you lay sprawled out on the pavement.
That speed bump was unkind.
Yes, I continued to laugh as we iced your bum down with a chilled bottle of wine.
YES, I laughed as you would call me with your woes,
You would describe the pain involved in the transition between sitting and standing,
The trials of living with a broken ass.
But then, Karma, came around.
I pulled my lower back muscle.
And now it's not so funny.


Except that it is! I still laugh, even at myself, but now I feel even more sorry for you than before. Actually, I am almost all the way better, and I know that mine was nothing compared to yours. But last Sunday sitting and standing in church was brutal!

I just want to take this opportunity in front of everyone to say:
I am sorry for convincing you to go roller blading with me.
I am sorry that you did not heed my advice to avoid the mountain you tried to rollerblade down. I am sorry that you hit two speed bumps.
I am sorry you jammed your ass.
But for the sake of having a hilarious story that still makes me laugh when I think about it,
I am not that sorry.