2 Year Anniversary

WHAT!?! 2 years? Feels more like 20, and yet the memories are as vivid as if it was yesterday. My two year anniversary for heart surgery was a few days ago (March 1). I missed the post because I was a sponsor on a youth retreat (Soul Link 2008) with my church...and also because I forgot that I had a blog. Ha.

Soul Link was amazing. I have just discovered an awesome band with an amazing ministry. Everybody check out Seventh Day Slumber. If you have ever felt pain, despair, or felt like an empty shell of a person...if you have ever thought that you were better off dead, dealt with addiction, or abandonment, you can understand the message these guys bring.

Your Spirit cannot help but be aware of
the truth that resonates from hearing the testimony of someone who has experienced these things firsthand.

God spoke to me this weekend.
Even two years later, I was still holding on to pain and fear from my past. I never truly surrendered it to God. I thought I had, but I had too many walls around my heart...so many to the point that I didn't even know what I was thinking. I was so busy convincing everyone else that I was fine, until I accidentally convinced myself too. It just festered deep within me, until one day it consumed me. Only God knew the truth, and He patiently, lovingly just waited 2 years for me to realize. It was during a Seventh Day Slumber song (Oceans from the Rain) that I heard God speak to me.

You can't be completely Mine, until You surrender every fear, every pain.
Jesus will wash your pain away.
And He's the only one.

I asked Him to...and He did.