Term Papers are Fun

Dear Loud Annoying Girl Sitting Across From Me at the Library Right Now,

Shut up! Some of us are very interested in finishing our term papers that are due at midnight. Somehow you have the superhuman power of having a shrill voice that is able to penetrate my iPod. With this great power comes great responsibility. You are blowing it, chica. Don't you notice all the looks you are getting from everyone within a 10-mile radius...including the poor girl you are talking to? You reek of insecurity.
Love,
Sev

P.S It DOES sound like you're nothing but a glorified booty call to him. Goodbye.