European Adventures: Part 2

We are leaving to go to the South of France tomorrow. We will be going to Nice and Cannes in France, then onto Monte Carlo, Monaco. AAAHHAHHAHA! Can this be real!? I am excited beyond words! I can't believe it! These are the most amazing places in France. Ocean front suite at the hotel. EEEEEeeeekkkkkkk!

We are having such a great time. We went on a picnic in front of a 5000 year old castle today. Cool, eh? We also went to northern Wales earlier this week, thereby adding another country to the list of countries we visited. We went to London a few days ago and THAT WAS THE MOST FUN OF ALL. We are going back next week again to continue seeing all the sights. Yay!

Love you all and miss you lots.

Sorry that the posts are not coming along as much as I thought, but that's just because there is too much fun to be had! All shall be revealed in time...

European Adventures: Part 1

I am having a WONDERFUL time here so far! I arrived in Bristol, U.K. on Sunday and have been having a great time since! It's only been 3 days, but we already we feel so welcome at my aunt and uncle's. Fredo Hopar and Stella Auntie have been so hospitable! Our guest room looks like a fancy room at an inn. They live in a beautiful, old Victorian house that has been remodeled inside. They keep insisting that their house is ours and have made us feel very comfortable here. Everyday so far, Stella has taken us somewhere to sightsee during the day, then Celina comes home from school, and we all hang out together. By the time afternoon rolls around, Seelva and I are exhausted from the day and jetlag. We have taken to exploring the city on our own in the afternoons and meeting some of the locals. Everyone is so friendly and seem to be thrilled that we are Americans from TEXAS. The Texas part is always their favorite.

Bristol is absolutely BEAUTIFUL! Every street, every building, and every shop is exactly how you would picture things to be in England. There are beautiful, old victorian building everywhere. Bright colors and gardens are along every winding cobblestone road.

We've been taking it pretty easy these few days to recover from jetlag, but we are about to start a round of day excursions to see more of England. This includes Bath, Cheddar, Stonehenge, and some city in Wales. Yayyy! Also, Fred and Stella have planned a 3 day trip to the South of France. We are going to Nice, Cannes, Monte Carlo, and Monaco. YYIIIIPPPPEEEEE! It is supposed to be the most beautiful time of year to be there in the most beautiful part of France. Eventually, Seelva and I are going on our own little three day excursion to experience London and then another one to experience Paris. Depending on how our finances work out, we may take a train to Germany to visit Melis, but that is still up in the air.

I am overwhelmed by the generosity that we are recieving here. I have the best family ever! I am so blessed! Love and miss you all back home!

Europe and Europeans are Fun

This has been a crazy, fun week! I haven't been around much, but that is because there has been a lot going on. We have had relatives from Europe come for my cousin's wedding, so we have been entertaining one German and one Frenchman! It has been great. I love Europeans. I love showing off the great city of Houston and getting to know family members that I didn't even know existed until about a month ago.

Since last Thursday, I have had a night at Rice Village, gone to my sister's high school graduation, thrown an awesome birthday party for one of my favorite people, gone to a rehearsal dinner, cousin's Wedding, a day to recover from cousin's wedding, a 2 day trip to Austin (vineyards in the Hill Country, 6th street, swimming in Lake Travis), and a Dynamo game.

The BIG news is that I LEAVE FOR EUROPE IN 2 DAYS!!! The next two days are devoted to packing and spending my last few moments with friends and family that I will miss. It's been 5 years since I was there last, and I have been dying to go back since. I absolutely love to travel and see and experience new things. It's a "graduation/congrats on med school" present from my parents. A sort of last hurrah before my life gets sucked away. :) My little sister, Seelva, who just graduated from high school is going too...we make a good team! Shenanigans will abound! We will be there for 3 weeks!!! We'll be primarily in England, but hopefully this will include a mini-trip to Paris and possibly one to Germany as well.

I'll keep you updated with pictures and tales of our grand European adventures!

Term Papers are Fun

Dear Loud Annoying Girl Sitting Across From Me at the Library Right Now,

Shut up! Some of us are very interested in finishing our term papers that are due at midnight. Somehow you have the superhuman power of having a shrill voice that is able to penetrate my iPod. With this great power comes great responsibility. You are blowing it, chica. Don't you notice all the looks you are getting from everyone within a 10-mile radius...including the poor girl you are talking to? You reek of insecurity.
Love,
Sev

P.S It DOES sound like you're nothing but a glorified booty call to him. Goodbye.

Fight against the Sadness, Artax!

Nothing quite like cemeteries in the rain.

April 15 marked the one-year anniversary of my grandmother's passing and today is her Hokee Hankeest. This translates into "soul rest". It's basically a memorial service and marks the end of the mourning period. (Armenians have 3 main events when someone passes: the funeral, a 40-day memorial service, and a one-year memorial service.) A Hokee Hankeest involves a ritual gathering of close friends and family at the gravesite while the Armenian priest says a prayer. Then everyone goes to church, and lastly everyone at church is invited to join the family of the deceased for food, pastries, coffee, and fellowship.

Today's weather reflected our moods pretty accurately. It started out gloomy, depressing, melancholy, and ended up being a beautiful day. So the question is, where did the shift happen?

Well, it went a little something like this:

It was raining. Only a light drizzle, but enough to make my hair look ridiculous. Every step I took, no matter how calculated or deliberate, sent mud splattering up my legs and all over my shoes...my high heels. I got mud in my high heel shoes. Ugh. Slowly, family members started arriving and congregating around my grandmother's grave. It was funny watching everyone try to figure out the "path of least flood and mud", and how to navigate between the burial plots. It didn't matter because everyone was covered in mud by the time they reached her gravesite.

The mood was solemn. Cemetaries get that way. My sisters and I arrived pretty early and had to wait as everyone else arrived. We tried to find the highest ground possible and took our positions, scared to move even the slightest bit because it would be sure to sink you into the ground. It was like a game for all the women present. Try NOT to let your heels sink into the soggy earth. It had been raining all weekend and the ground was extremely soft. It was funny to see people wobble, pull out their heels from the ground, then reposition themselves on a seemingly sturdier area only to do it all over again. Finally, the family was all present and so was the Armenian priest.

At this point my feet were already killing me because I had spent the evening before on my feet in heels for several hours. Needless to say, I was not comfortable. We stood at the grave for a while, all the time softening the ground beneath us even more. At one point my heels sunk into the ground for the millionth time, and at that point I whispered to Seelva, "I give up." I just let them go down and stood there with my heels in the mud, feeling sad and pathetic and sorry for myself.

Seelva, leaned over and whispered back, "NOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Never give up! Don't let the sadness take you, Artax! You dumb horse!"

I TOTALLY lost it! Everyone within earshot busted out laughing! If you aren't laughing right now as you read this, it's because you have never seen The Neverending Story (for shame!), or just can't remember it. Go look up "Artax dies in the Swamp of Sadness" on Youtube right now! It's the scene where a warrior boy (Atreyu) and his horse (Artax) are traveling through the Swamps of Sadness. If you let sadness overtake you, you sink in the mud and die (kind of like quicksand, except quickmud). The boy's horse at one point gives in to sadness, sinks, and dies. It is ridiculously cheesy, over-the-top dramatic, and HILARIOUS!

It was so funny because it was almost exactly what I was doing at that moment! I really was feeling pretty lousy AND literally sinking in the mud. Then all of a sudden, I decided not to give in to the sadness. And the clouds disappeared and the world became a brighter, happier place. This is just another reason why it is important to have people you love around you to lift you up. I didn't need a lecture or a cry or to talk about my feelings. All I needed was someone who loves me to make me laugh by quoting a classic 80s fantasy film. Thank you, Seelva. :)

Engagement Parties are the Best.

I just came home from an awesome engagement party. Armenian style. Shoorch Bar. Live band. Huge dance floor. Fog machine. Flashing lights. Satin fabric. Chandeliers. Flowing fountains. Abundant alcohol. Delicious food. Pretty dresses. High heels (but not me because of my stupid ankle). Fine then, kitten heels. Lots of boisterous dancing with friends and strangers. A sweet dance with my grandfather who was recently diagnosed with lung cancer and doesn't have much longer to go. As we danced he hugged me and wept. Good God! What's a girl to do. I cried too. Then I began salsa dancing.

Thank God for medical school. Otherwise I would have no escape from the awkwardness of Armenian women asking me if I am "next". They send out a blessing that translates as "may your luck be opened." Basically it means, I hope you will be the next lucky one. This is a compliment, but it can just as easily be disguised as a passive aggressive attack...it all depends on who you are talking to. Luckily I have more friends than foes in the Armenian world. The older ladies are the ones who (much like the church of christ) are ready to diagnose you. "Come on girl! Maybe you are being too picky. I know! You need a nice Armenian boy. Get with the program. Oh! You got into medical school. Good girl. In that case, it's okay. You were busy studying all the time. Well, good for you. You know there are many good Armenian men in California. There are medical schools in California. You should go to school there. You should find a husband there. In fact, my grandson is visiting from there. Here he is..."

You can imagine how it goes from there. Even though it can be weird, I secretly love it. It is just too hilarious not to enjoy every awkward second. I know it's not the world I belong to, but it sure is fun to party with them every once in a while. If there is one thing that can be said about Armenians, it is that they know how to have a good time.

3 Year Anniversary

Three years ago today, I was having heart surgery. How strange and wonderful. Praise God for healing and restoring my mind, heart, body and soul.

I don't know what it is about this weekend in my life, but I feel like really important, life-changing things keep happening year after year. It's kind of funny and ironic. And weird.

This weekend has been a important checkpoint in my spiritual journey. It's been extremely fulfilling on so many levels. First of all, like I mentioned already, today is the 3 year anniversary of my heart surgery. I know that people are over it and don't care, but it is something that I deal with and think about almost every day. I am not burdened with it anymore. I used to be until exactly 1 year ago this weekend.

Soul Link was this weekend and as I spent time reflecting on God and immersing myself in Him (which is exactly why I love things like Soul Link...an entire weekend devoted to thinking about God!), I also began to reflect on my life these past three years.

About 3 years ago, my life was as blessed as always and things were going along so smoothly. I had such a great life. I was only 3 semesters away from graduating, I maintained a 4.0 GPA, I was dating a really great guy, I had an amazing group of friends, I had a great apartment and was living with the best room mates ever. Things were going so well for me in every aspect of my life. I felt so content. Then, out of nowhere I got sick and my world turned upside down (sick being an extreme understatement, but I have already devoted so many posts explaining this, so I won't go into too much detail here).

For the following 2 years, I fell into the age-old trap of trying to "fix" everything myself. God did the important stuff (keeping me alive), now it was my turn to do my part. I felt like I had to work hard and make my life worth it...you know, pay God back, in a sense. How could I have so stupidly thought that I could even be remotely good enough or able to pay God back or even accomplish anything for that matter? That was my first problem. I needed a major lesson in humility. I am NOT in control, never will be, and never can be. It doesn't matter if I get all my ducks in a row, as I would soon find out, because THAT is not the answer. There is only one answer and that is to surrender your entire life to God. Jesus takes your pain away. But for 2 years I tried to "fix" everything myself.

I put my hope in the wrong things. Not bad things, mind you. All the things I worked for and wanted were good things that I believe God wants to bless us with, but the problem was my motives. I was putting my hope in these things, when it really needed to be in Christ alone.

I thought I needed friends because I was alone in Houston after moving back home post-surgery. I was immediately blessed with a solid support system of great friends who are incredible. I still felt empty.

I thought I needed to get my health back on track. I was the healthier after that first year, than I have ever been. I only ate perfect, healthy food and worked out an average of 6-8 times a week. I was obsessed. I was in great shape, and felt good physically. I still felt empty.

I thought I needed to find love so I became a serial dater. It's funny because I never thought I would be that girl. I started with a very conservative, Christian-school (aka only date someone you could see yourself potentially marrying) attitude, but eventually saw how ridiculous this was and finally started acting more like an adult (aka non-committal, give it a chance, just looking for someone to spend some time with, enjoy life, and laugh together dating). I have to say this was one of the best revelations I have had! Although there wasn't a single truly meaningful relationship there, in a strange way all those little relationships added up to be a very meaningful and treasured experience for me. It was the confidence boost I needed and I learned soooooo much about myself, what I want, what I value, and who I am. Also, I am the type of person that likes to try everything once, before I make a final decision. I never want to resent someone because I feel like I settled. You know, it's just your basic principles of research. I kept meeting the most interesting and (for the most part) great guys. I still felt empty.

I thought I needed to get my education back on track, after dropping out for a while. If I could just secure a career path or at least have a clue what I was going to be when I grew up, I would feel better. God truly blessed me by leading me into medicine. He made this part of my life incredibly, miraculously easy. But, I still felt emtpy.

I find it so interesting because looking back, I can see that God was so patient with me. He just let me take 2 entire years of filtering through stupid ideas of how to make my life better. Even though He knew what I really needed in order to be completely healed, He blessed me with all the things I was asking for, just to help me to understand. He realized how dense I can be, and figured a 2 year object lesson was really the only way to get through to a stubborn Armenian.

You can actually go back to the old post I wrote after Soul Link 2008 (1 year ago!) and see where I talk about a spiritual renewal. I was an empty shell of who I was meant to be. I was in a terrible downward spiral and it happened to be at Soul Link during a song at a concert where it all became painfully clear to me. I heard God speak. It wasn't the booming, scary God voice, but it was my own voice, except in a way that I never really hear it. It was clear and there was a sense of power, calm strength, and authority. The answer was not to hide from the pain and fear and uncertainty. It was not to find solace in a planned out future, in love, in friends, or anything else. It was to love God, to love Jesus, and to surrender everything to Him. The only way to be happy was to be completely His, and you can't be completely His, until you surrender.

This past year, has been such a blessed one for me, in every way. I changed my attitude and my life that weekend. That is not to mislead you into thinking things have been perfect. In fact, things have gotten downright bad at some points, yet there is unexplainable joy in my heart. No matter what I do or what happens to me, I have purpose. Although, I don't always know what that purpose is, I have faith in a God who will always take care of me and love me.

"To you, O Lord, I lift up my soul;
in you I trust, O my God.
Do not let me be put to shame,
nor let my enemies triumph over me.
No one whose hope is in you
will ever be put to shame...

Show me your ways, O Lord,
teach me your paths;
guide me in your truth and teach me,
for you are God my Savior,
and my hope is in you all day long.
Remember, O Lord, your great mercy and love,
for they are from old.
Remember not the sins of my youth
and my rebellious ways;
according to your love remember me,
for you are good, O Lord...

Turn to me and be gracious to me,
for I am lonely and afflicted.
The troubles of my heart have multiplied;
free me from my anguish.
Look upon my affliction and my distress
and take away all my sins.
See how my enemies have increased
and how fiercly they hate me!
Guard my life and rescue me;
let me not be put to shame,
for I take refuge in you.
May integrity and uprightness protect me,
because my hope is in you."

Psalm 25